Upstairs Downstairs.

I do not know how to deal with frustration. I especially don’t know how to deal with my feelings about my downstairs neighbor. I understand when people get upset about quiet time sounds, and i understand how annoying kids and their noises can be. But she bought her condo knowing that it was the bottom unit, and i purposely made sure we didn’t buy a bottom because I can’t deal with sound. if she’s the same, she shouldn’t live there. Because 7 am. I’m not going to tell my kids they can’t COME DOWNSTAIRS or make them TIPTOE at SEVEN FUCKING A.M. Because that’s crap. They don’t fool around, they don’t jump around, they don’t run. They walk, and yes, she’s had an old lady living here for a long time. But it’s time to get used to the fact that we live here. Because if we moved out, a family with a teeny baby, a crying baby, could move in. Or a gaggle of college students.

But I don’t know how to deal with this. I have said we’re not going to do more than we’re doing. If it were midnight or 5 a.m. I would, but not during daylight. But it just makes me angry. I own a noise cancellation device because I can’t stand the neighbors waking us up, why can’t she? I may have complained about past issues, but I did always try to take responsibility for my own comfort. But can you just say that?

And the biggest issue? I can’t stand being someone else’s issue. I hate my husband for making us move here. I never should have agreed to it. I didn’t want to be someone’s complaint. Because I will go out of my way to prevent people from being harmed by my existence. So this is stress. Totally stressed out. Totally unhappy. Waking up in the middle of the night. Which means I should probably go see someone to deal with it. When do I have to choose? When does someone go see a doctor if they’re on the verge of depression? Or dealing with anxiety? I don’t want to seek out a new therapist. It took so long to find one I liked the first time. …but I know I need another way of dealing with the crazy lady and her inability to deal with us (and telling other neighbors how awful we are).

Arg!!!!

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