I’m working on getting healthier, and I am working so very very hard to make sure that I have things set up, but I keep thinking of this bathroom issue. Nothing to worry about, I’m not going to gross you out. But there’s this bathroom I know of. They decided to put in those silly Scott tissue boxes, that hold a toilet paper roll.
Now, don’t get me wrong. We use an old florist vase that stacks three toilet rolls. It’s great. People can see that there are three rolls available, I can easily check to make sure there are enough in case we run out when we have guests. Being able to see them is so helpful.
Well, this other bathroom holds THREE toilet roll boxes. Each one holds only one roll. They are stacked inside another toilet roll holder that holds three rolls or three boxes. Stacked.
So, I ran out of toilet paper. And took the cover off the first one. You see where I’m going here. No toilet paper in any of them. And it took so much time to learn. My host had no idea whether the boxes were filled. Because, honestly, who wants to check that? And if you’re going to take the first one you’re going to need to take out the other two and put the empty one on the bottom. Really, the only way this works is if you fill the box every time you empty it.
So, I stack my new habits and worry that I’m just stacking toilet roll boxes.
I have been thinking a lot recently about little things I do that keep me from reverting back to the depressive state I feel like I lived so much of my life in. And one of those little things is to get naked every day. And I keep thinking, well, that just sounds ridiculous. I mean, who would believe me if I told them that being naked for a few minutes a day helps me stay normal.
And then, reading through the backlog of blogs I like to read I came across <a href=”http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2015/01/4-minutes-nude/”>The Modern Mrs. Darcy’s discussion of putting on lotion</a>, and while she’s talking about getting nude to put on lotion, it still made me feel like I wasn’t as crazy.
In the cold I try so hard to be warm all the time, and I get lazy. I can’t be the only person who starts re-wearing clothes just so that I don’t need to spend time figuring out what to wear, because otherwise I’d turn my back on the day and lie back in bed. Or maybe I am?
But if I get up, have my water, and then force myself to get undressed in the bathroom to weigh myself, well, I can’t do that. And I’ll put on lotion, but more it forces me to strip myself of yesterday and last night. It’s a feeling of renewal and care. And maybe that isn’t as crazy as it’s been sounding lately. And if it is, maybe it doesn’t matter all that much, because I know that it’s been helping me. And it’s one little thing I can check off my mental to-do list. (No, I don’t write “get naked” into Omnifocus.)
So, if you’re feeling a little blue and the winter is getting to you, maybe you could start with getting up and getting naked, putting on clean clothes.
Or maybe I’m the only one who finds that depression makes me where the same clothes for weeks at a time.
I’ve been in pain since mid-December. Sometimes it’s a light, crampy pain. Sometimes it’s a grab-your-belly-and-scream pain. And recording my diet has proved nothing. And we’ve yet to have an answer from tests (not from lack of trying).
It’s not my appendix, since that was taken out in August, though there was nothing wrong with it, because, hey! why keep that?
So now I’m bored. When I’m nervous (and I’m nervous for an upcoming test) I want to spend time to myself to recharge. But I have kids to entertain. And I want to enjoy spending time with them. But I want to curl up and just think and not-think (repeat as necessary). And doodle (like that above of someone knocking out my disturbed gallbladder).
The many resolutions I’ve had have turned into “spend half an hour with your kids without complaining,” “finish the dishes so that no one else needs to do them,” and “post a drawing here every week.” That one is failing. They’re all failing. I had such nice ideas too, and started in December! I was ahead! I had plans! Dreams!
…some of which include actually selling some artwork. In other places! It’s exciting! And actually spending time writing! Because, once upon a time, I DID those things! And I LOVED them.
I’m finding it easier to focus on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (which, by the way, did you know that sex is one of the base needs? Shocking.) I’m currently stuck on the second level. I’ll get back to the top. Eventually we’ll figure out what is wrong, fix or otherwise take care of it, and I’ll be able to climb back up. But I can’t blame myself for not being able to really take care of the relationships now or being able to fulfill my creative desires. One step at a time.